I am the problem with the peer review process.

A short time back as I was robotically deleting all the junk mail from my inbox, my finger paused at an interesting looking message. It was addressed to my work account, and the subject was simply "Dr. Grumpy PhD" (you know how much I love when people call me that!), and it came from International Journal of...

Huh. What's this? I opened the email and found that I was being asked to review a manuscript. Me! Asked to review a manuscript! And not by my PI who didn't have time to do his own reviews himself!

I looked at the title; I immediately recognized that I had been asked based on my most recent paper. Flattered (someone must have actually read my paper!), I replied yes! Of course I can have it done by Dec. 25th! And then, like all good scientists who get asked to do this sort of thing routinely, I forgot about it. Until last night.

First thing when I got to work this morning, which was actually after noon due to snow delays and the need to go to the car wash to get rid of the snow packing my undercarriage and then that one last stop to buy the last Christmas present of 2008 (whoohoo, I'm done!)(breathe...) I scrolled through my inbox until I found the email, opened the document, and started reading.

A little later I sat back in my chair and though "Holy shit, what the hell am I doing?" It turns out that this paper is far more genetic then molecular; and my paper was published a year ago and I have since moved on to bigger and better things (I hope), so I had to dust out the cobwebs and get the wheels turning and, you know, think about this stuff again. Agh. The thing is, something about this paper is really bothering me, I feel that something is just not right, but I can't figure out what. If I could just remember what it is I am forgetting... I could ask my PI and some other MDs I know and they would give me the background info I need in a heartbeat; but it is two days before the holiday break and my lab is deserted, I haven't seen my boss in a week, and everyone is trying to finish all their own work so they can go home and have that eggnog.

Sigh. I got myself into this. I can do it. I just have to put my own eggnog back into the fridge for the night. Meantime, anyone with good advice or links to old posts about how to compose a good review... please please please hit the comment button below and clue me in.

Living life is a science, too.

I was reading one of the posts nominated as a best of for 2008, about how some of the most visited science blogs are those that are about more frivolous topics. And you know what? The title of the post, which grabbed my attention, was about science and Britney Spears. So yeah, I'm guilty of being drawn to the frivolous. So I was reading the post, and I only got so far as this:

"...It was one of those throw-away posts, with a silly title, a one-liner, a picture and a link. Something that takes no thought and about two minutes to post. Something almost all of us post sometimes, just to fill the page. For fun. Not a post that requires hours of research and writing."

Then I got depressed and stopped reading. Because all of my posts are like that. Nothing I post about in my current- and previous (here unnamed) blogs- ever requires actual research. I guess I'm just not that smart or interesting.

But wait, I think, why should I be depressed about this? The point of my blog isn't to educate about science; I do enough of that in my 'real' job; the purpose of this blog is to educate about the life of a struggling scientist/ mother/ wife. In that respect, the research I do is 24/7. If I had the time, I'd be smart. I'd be current, I'd be educational. Instead I use that time to... you know, sleep; or feed my children; rescue the dog from the pound (again); fold some laundry; or actually have a conversation with my husband.

So if you are looking for science, this is the wrong blog. If you are looking for life, stay here and witness mine.

When the words lose their meaning.

I have just finished grading the last paper. Ahhhh! Such a relief! All that is left is to tally their scores and calculate their final grades.

I hate papers. I hate reading the same thing over and over and over and over...

I hate the fact that we've gone through so many drafts, and so many lectures about How to write... and What to include... and yet, so many of them still didn't get it. It makes me wonder... are they listening? And I find my comments getting less and less polite, and my grading getting more and more strict. And then I wonder some more... how consistent am I? Am I being fair? And how much am I factoring in my expectations to the grade? I do have a rubric, but I am finding that this is more of a pain in the ass then a help. It's easier to grade by instinct. Usually, just by reading the abstract, I know what grade I am giving, although that isn't always the truth. I just worry that when I was in a good mood yesterday I graded higher then when I was in a bad mood today.

But you know what? I don't worry enough to go back and check.

I'm just glad that I only had one plagiarizer to deal with. That one is getting an F and meeting the Dean for violating the Academic Integrity Code. Merry Christmas, and thank goodness I'm not teaching the make-up class next semester!